Filed under: Reality-Free, Features
Dear Bob,(I can call you Bob, right? I mean, we've never met, but I feel like we can be chummy enough for me to do that... no? Well, Ok, let me try again...)
Dear Mr. De Niro,
Despite the fact that I haven't seen a movie with you in it since the bitter and boring disappointment that was 'Showtime,' I'm still a huge fan of yours. Sure, you haven't exactly made the smartest career decisions over the last ten years; your most memorable roles lately seem to be in the endless stream of 'Fockers' movies that inflict themselves on the public every few years. But you built up plenty of goodwill with me over the decades, through movies as diverse as 'Taxi Driver' and 'Midnight Run' (still one of my favorites), for me to forgive the 21st century portion of your IMDb profile.
So, as a big fan of yours, I'm here, on my virtual knees. I don't usually beg anyone for anything, as I have my pride. But, pride be damned; I'm begging you right here and now:
Please don't suck on 'SNL' this weekend like you did the last time you hosted. I just can't go through that again.
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